He wants to please you and takes great pleasure in making sure that happens, whether it comes from intercourse, touching, or cuddling. So, take some time to really kiss and touch each other before jumping into sex. A lover, not a mother or child. While men appreciate the sweet and caring things you do for them, men in their 50s are looking for someone to be intimate with, not a woman to mother them. The experts agree that men in mid-life want a woman who is a partner, not a parent. That means showing independence, confidence, passion, and compassion.
Men in their 50s know that they might not be as virile and energetic in the sack as they once were. Because of this, a little pat on the back is appreciated. Alright, so maybe OkCupid en masse follows dating age conventions, but what about those women who want to flip the norm on its head?
How difficult is it for them to date a younger man? What I found was kind of surprising.
When men message women, women tend to respond most often to men around their own ages. A year-old woman will have better luck messaging a year-old man than a year-old one, according to the data. And a year-old man is more likely to respond to a message from a year-old woman than a message from any other age group.
When women make the first move, the age gap dating norm is reversed. I asked my friend Trevor, a year-old mathematician, what he made of it. They have more interesting jobs and hobbies, and their profiles are just better … no stupid selfie-only profiles.
And honestly, if you are single and the world is your oyster as it is for you, my dear , it would be awesome if you would begin looking for someone within 5 years of your age. Since you are 30, and since men by and large tend to be less mature than women, you will probably fit best with a man who is in the age range of 28 - Just my opinion of course. These should be discerned early in the game, so people can go their separate ways pretty quickly and not languish in indecision.
Having children is probably the biggest deal breaker. He doesn't want more. I had my kids at age 34 and More and more women are having kids in their 30's. I will tell you this, I have a bit less energy available, to chase my kids around, at age 43, than I did back when I was If I could do it over, I might have had my kids a few years earlier.
But I had some technical difficulties in my early 30's, including cancer, so that wasn't an option. Ok here's the deal. The reason you have fallen for this guy is because you spent time with him and got to know him. This happens alot to people, especially women. If you had spent time with a single, kid free, but eventually wanting kids 33 year old guy via volunteering, you'd be getting to know that 33 year old single cool fun interesting sweet guy and finding him to be pretty awesome.
You have been spending your time with someone who is not a candidate for you to date. That needs to stop. You need to explore other avenues of volunteering or dating or meetups or whatever, to meet guys in your age range that could be possible dating prospects for you. I am very glad you are enjoying being single, that's awesome, and very important.
But all things being equal, if you are going to spend time with someone of the opposite gender, try to let it be someone you could eventually date and have a long term relationship with. Because, the thing about spending time with someone is, women tend to fall for the guy.
It's called Oxytocin, its a chemical released in the brain that causes women to bond to men and babies. Google it, it's legit. I have read alot about it here on Love Shack, and elsewhere. Hormones and chemicals in the brain can make us very confused, and fall for someone that logically, we know is just a waste of time for us. And then once you become attached, it hurts to let go, and you end up spending years with this person who wasn't a good fit for you.
I did that for 16 years in a marriage with my ex-husband. Don't fall into that trap with this guy. He is probably a great guy. But, he's too old for you, and doesn't want kids. Plus, he has 3 kids already, and you would have to deal with them and his ex-wife.
Odds are, a huge pain in the ass in the long run. Game over, stop now with this guy. Invest you time volunteering and doing other things, with the thought in mind of meeting guys close to your age, who are cool and pleasant to be around. Friendships, and attraction, take time to cultivate. Find a good person to start with, and then get to know them.
Have dealbreakers, and boundaries in mind. And don't be afraid to walk away. Yes, Mick Jagger, we can get satisfaction, and that's because, at the end of the night, we have satisfied partners to prove it. Most men in their 50s including myself have older children who are either in high school, college, or out in the working world.
Because our kids are older, then, we aren't asking you to help us raise our kids. With that said, when it comes to kids, 50s Men understand, on a deep, fundamental level if they are worth a damn, that is , that kids come before everything else in life, including ourselves.
Most guys in their 50s, that I know, love kids. I didn't think so. He makes date plans, and sticks to them. How many times have you waited by your smartphone to get a text on where, and when, you were going on a date with a guy? That almost never happens with a guy in his 50s and if it does, run away! His work schedule is usually full, so he doesn't have time to constantly shift around the time and date of his dates.
He wants something to look forward to, and when to look forward to it. He doesn't play by the grass is always greener set of rules by floating three or more tentative dates to wait until the very last minute before deciding which is the best one to take. Do you know why? He's got gray hair see Reason 2 above.
Sure our knees creak a little more, and are backs are a tad stiffer, but if we take care of ourselves, which many of us do, we can be in just as good a shape as our male underlings in their 30s and 40s. Are we going to beat them in a straight-up Spartan Race, Cross Fit competition, or marathon?